Safe from the Safeway

It's nearly midnight, and I just got home from a trip to my local Safeway.  I have these really horrible allergies that act up on bursting spring days like today, and despite taking 50-100 mg of Benadryl every three hours since this morning (um, yeah, that's like double the usual dosage - quite remarkable that I can craft something approximating a sentence, isn't it?), I still went through all six large boxes of Kleenex at my place tonight.  So just after the Daily Show ended, I headed out to my local Safeway, just around the corner, to replenish allergy attack supplies.

I am pleased and proud to report that I just returned home with six fresh new boxes of Kleenex and five other items (one too many for the 10 or less checkout, drat) and not once did I go down an aisle in which I encountered either condoms or "jelly for diaphragms". 

Now, I don't know what kinda sexed-up Safeways they've got out there in the 13th District, but seriously, is there anywhere that Delegate Bob Marshall does not see sexual temptation lurking? 

Young adult health fair organizers discussed the possibility of distributing chocolate, oysters, and strawberries as a possible way to entice their peers to attend a health fair at George Mason University, and Marshall and his cronies get all hot and bothered, complaining to GMU officials about giving the group "permission to distribute Aphrodisacs". 

Iis Marshall going to mandate strawberry permits on public college campuses now?   The RT-D story says, "In a phone interview yesterday, Marshall said he failed to find the humor in the aphrodisiac "come-on," as he called it."  That's what he considers a come-on???

(Uh oh.  Now that I think about it, there was a pitiful banged-up looking half-pound basket of warm strawberries discarded on the "return" shelf above the cashier's register at the Safeway ...I have to confess they didn't turn me on in the slightest, but perhaps that's the Benadryl talking.  I didn't run into any condoms or "jelly for diaphragms" in those Safeway aisles, but if I've gotta worry about sexual temptations from produce, maybe the Safeway is not as safe as I think.)

The ironies abound in this kerfuffle about this "Sextravaganza" health fair at GMU.   While Marshall decries it as "a cover for propaganda", the Pro-Choice Patriots student group that organized the event welcomed the participation of anti-abortion and pro-abstinence groups including Campus Catholic Ministries and GMU Students for Life distributing their propaganda.  (Kudos to the Pro-Choice Patriots view for welcoming divergent viewpoints and interest groups.)

In a video clip from WUSA-9 TV, one of the anti-choice student participants says that she was able to spread her message to many students who might not otherwise have been exposed to it.  Over on NBC-4 TV, the teaser image for the video clip (which I can't view because NBC-4 won't make video compatible for Macs) clearly shows anti-abortion table props.  And yet the NBC story features another nutty quote, this one from Senator Ken Cuccinelli:

"They are selling abortions."

So Del. Marshall sees diaphragm jelly in every aisle at the grocery store, and Sen. Cuccinelli thinks that a health fair that provides information on how to prevent unwanted pregnancy is "selling abortions". 

Despite their paranoid histrionics, though, the event was apparently a smashing success, in no small part thanks to high turnout attributable to the attention created by the protesting lawmakers.  Thanks to the great organizers from GMU Pro-Choice Patriots, it sounds like some actual education went on at this GMU sexual health education event, as it should be.

Note: I plead Benadryl Brain for my not posting about the 45th district candidates forum as promised yet.  I'll get to that when some of my IQ is back in place.

Comments

[Shaula Evans]

More Benadryl Blogging!

Seriously, girl: keep this up and you'll have a staff writer job on the Daily Show.

If only puritans hadn't founded America...

I do found it ironic that so many early Americans, and throughout history so many American immigrants, left their homelands and came here to *avoid* religious persecution...and yet somehow it is the philosophical heirs of the Salem witch trials who still hate women, are still terrified of sex, and are still trying to promote social unrest and tear our communities apart for their own personal political gain.

One of the obvious solutions is to get more women involved in politics.

[Anon]

This is hilarious!

What is Bob Marshall going to do next - ban DANCING because it leads to fornication?

(Of course, VA's fornication laws were struck down by the courts, so maybe that would be okay.)

Maybe we should call Kevin Bacon and have him come to Virginia and open a can of his hard-dancing whupass on Bob Marshall to help Bruce Roemmelt win. :-)

[Shaula Evans]

That is a brilliant idea, Anon.

Seriously: If I were Bruce Roemmelt (and don't we all aspire to be Bruce Roemmelt?), I would send an invitation to Kevin Bacon...just on the off chance that he'd come out here.

Talk about earned media opportunities...

Or, at the very least, issue a public letter to Kevin Bacon. :)

[JoAnn]

Great piece. More benadryl blogging, please!

[kathy]

"sexual temptations from produce"

WAY TOO FUNNY

[jc]

Maura,

I just cleaned out my crisper drawer in my refrigerator. Who knew?

[poemless]

I don't know where he's grocery shopping, but I wouldn't let him make me a PBJ...

[Corinne]

As if I needed another reason to eat chocolate and strawberries.

[Alexandra Nelson]

I just had to chip in here- I am the co-chair for the Pro-Choice Patriots, and the co-organizer for the event- and I love your support! I thought the "selling abortions" comment was especially funny since our group did not address the issue of "choice" at our table. We invited Students for Life to have a table, and I'm glad that we did- they did a great job, and are wonderful to work with. We then chose not to focus on our own cause so the event wouldn't be about pushing any political agenda of our own- rather it was about education and saving lives. Our table gave out aphrodisiacs, making no mention of abortion whatsoever! We did invite NARAL Pro-Choice America to have a table, but specifically stayed away from it ourselves... *hmphh*
All I could think about the "jelly" comment was, Gosh- if people know all they ever need to know about sex and protection by osmosis from walking down the aisle, then our country is miraculously safe from STD infections from here on out! Our own Peer Health Educators did a presentation at one of our Pro-Choice meetings and pointed out that there are 13 steps to putting on a Condom... Now I'll "defy" him to tell me all of those steps off the top of his head and tell me that all the college students who have been down the condom aisle, or even all those who use condoms, could tell me those steps without a cheat sheet...

Also- I concur... I'll make my own PBJs, thank you very much! Maybe next year we should distribute controversial grape jelly at the aphrodisiac table...

[Corinne]

Alexandra, from all accounts it sounds like you guys did a great job. I hope this becomes a regular event at GM and other area schools.

Knowledge is power...

[Eileen Levandoski]

Great job, Alexandria! I attended the event and it was very well done. However, you don't need to worry about distributing grape jelly at the event next year. Coz there will be NO BOB MARSHALL and NO DICK BLACK (www.BlackOut2005.com). Thank you very much!!!